When my husband and I were first married we read a book that talked about different love languages. Later as I became a mom I realized that love languages don’t just apply to spouses; it applies to children too!
The times when I am frustrated with my kids and don’t want to even think about hugging them is the time when they need it the most.
I feel like every time that I sit down to feed our 9-month-old is the time when my other two kids think it is ok to fight or get themselves in trouble.
This afternoon as I was feeding the baby on the chair, our two older kids decided that it would be fun to climb on the table. I told them that they needed to get off or else they would go to their rooms. Before I knew it our two-year-old girl fell off the chair and it looked like she hit her chin on the table. After seeing that she was fine, I was a little frustrated that she didn’t listen, but seeing the tears in her eyes all I could think about was giving her a hug. She immediately calmed down. If I had raised my voice it would only have caused more frustrating feelings and more tears and screaming.
The other week as I was leaving the park our oldest child decided to not listen to me and would not hold onto the stroller or my hand. He was running towards a busy street. Instead of losing my cool and yelling at him, I picked him up while pushing the stroller and holding onto our daughter’s hand. It was difficult to keep my cool as I had him screaming and hitting me, but I did it! When I got in the car I explained what would have happened if they didn’t listen to me.
Some days I have to remind myself that our children are learning and sometimes it may take a long time for them to understand how to listen or to be kind to one another. But raising my voice does not help any situation. It only causes more stress. Sometimes I may not feel like giving them a hug, but our children’s love language definitely is physical touch and words of affirmation. They respond well to those two things and I have noticed a huge change in how they respond to me when I follow those two love languages.