online dating

What I learned from online dating- Part 2

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Here is my continuing blog about “What I learned from online dating” Part 2.

I felt a little bit hurt that my Canadian friend didn’t email me back and was I was mad. I would think to myself “What did I do wrong?” “Was he just pretending to be nice?” I would try to forget him, but I just couldn’t. I talked to one more guy on the dating site, but it just wasn’t the same. Once again the guy just only wanted to talk about himself and rarely asked me questions.
Once my membership came up for renewal on the dating site, I was done.

About six months passed. I was sitting in church during Sunday School and was looking at my phone and I saw an email from my Canadian guy! I have to admit my heart jumped at seeing this, but then that excitement turned to anger. I thought to myself, “How dare this guy think that he can just treat me like this. Was he going to chat with me and then disappear again?”

In his email, he said, “I just wanted to say hi and hope you are doing well. How was your summer?” How did I respond? Not very kindly. This is my response- “So since I am in a crappy mood I have no problem saying “Why are you talking to me?” I didn’t feel bad about sending it until he responded back. Here is his response. “I am very sorry….. for many reasons. First I am sorry to hear that you are in a crappy mood. I only want good things for you. Second I am sorry for bothering you. I am talking to you because I think you are a great person and I enjoyed our conversations and just missed them. I had no intent in leaving you hanging. Things just happened. I understand if you just want to go our separate ways now and I hope all your dreams come true. But know that I mean everything I have said and that I thank you for being a positive influence in my life during a very dark time. Take care and I hope you feel better soon.”

You can imagine how bad I felt after his response. I looked at his response and remembered why I enjoyed this guy and the conversations that we had. I could tell he was being very sincere. I could tell he cared about me and only wanted good things for me. The same day I wrote back and apologized for being so rude in my email. We mended things over and from that day forward we chatted pretty much every day. We sent emails, moved to texting every day, and then we skyped every day.

That’s one more thing that I learned from online dating. It is important to talk a lot with the person that you are building a relationship with. We will always say that the first time we met in person at the airport, we felt like we had known each other forever. Things weren’t awkward between us. It was because we talked and talked a lot! We got to know each other pretty well and that is very important in building a relationship.

-Jelly Jazz

What I learned from online dating Part 1

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When people ask how my husband and I met they are always surprised to hear that we met online.
They usually will say, “Wow! That’s really cool.” They may also say, “Usually I don’t think of online dating working out very well. Especially long-distance relationships. That’s cool that you could make it work.” My husband and I tell people that if we learned one thing from online dating it is that we took our time.

I wasn’t sure about online dating sites, but I just had a feeling that I needed to check it out. I sometimes would get a bunch of guys that were three or four times my age that would message me. Those messages always ended up in the trash unopened. There were some guys that would message me and only wanted to talk about themselves and never asked me questions. Then one day I got a message from the guy that is now my husband.

I saw that he was from Canada. That seemed kind of cool. I saw that there was a little bit of an age gap, but it didn’t bother me. I was mostly drawn to his face. Of course, he was very handsome, but as I looked at his face in those pictures I could just tell he was a very caring and kind guy. To this day he still is.
The other thing that drew me to him was that he asked me questions. He seemed to genuinely care about getting to know me. We chatted every so often. I would always get excited when I saw that I got a message from him. One day he asked for my email. He said that he wasn’t sure if he was going to renew his membership with the dating site, but he wanted to make sure we could keep in touch. I gave him my email. We maybe emailed two times and then I didn’t hear from him for about six months.

So what did I learn so far from online dating? Number one- don’t jump at the first person that messages you. Number two- Beware and be alert. Number three- have lots of pictures on your profile. One thing that my husband said was that he loved that I had lots of pictures up on my dating profile. That’s what drew him to me. And number four- some people are just bad at email. Wish I knew that before so I didn’t get mad at him later on when he finally did email me back. 🙂 But that is a story for Part 2 of “What I learned from online dating.”

-Jelly Jazz